


AU - Dear Nanao-chan

by Aria6



Series: A Coyote's Stories [4]
Category: Bleach
Genre: AU, Multi, off screen character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3336440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria6/pseuds/Aria6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of A Coyote's Stories</p>
            </blockquote>





	AU - Dear Nanao-chan

Ise Nanao knew, from a young age, that Kyoraku Shunsui had a difficult life.

When she first met him, he was a teenager and she was just a young child. He was laughing and drinking sake, waiting for his turn to be fitted for a kimono. His eyes lit up when he saw her and he'd asked if she wanted to hear a story. Nanao thought he was charming so she'd said yes. Soon he was entertaining her with a story about dragons and gryphons.

Unfortunately, he'd been called to his fitting before he could finish. But after the fitting was done he'd made time to tell her the rest of the story. That hadn't been too easy for him. They'd had to hide from a gorgon of a woman who was there to manage him. Nanao remembered giggling as she showed him her little hiding spot under the stairs. Her parents had been angry with her afterwards but fortunately, the Kyoraku clan had put the blame squarely on their son.

As the years went past, she saw more and more of him. The Ise clan made some of the best kimono and yukata around, and Shunsui always came to them when he wanted something new. As Nanao grew older she helped him pick out things. He loved that horrible pink thing, but she still tried to steer him in other directions. Royal blue looked lovely on him. He flirted gently with her but she carefully avoided any entanglement with him. He was a high noble and very much above her, whatever Shunsui might think.

Nanao had always known things were hard for him. The few things he'd let drop and many things she'd directly observed indicated that his family disapproved of him. It seemed like they were trying to suck all the joy out of Shunsui's life, although she didn't know why. But she would always remember the look on his face when he told her he was getting married. She would remember because there was no joy, only painful resignation. When she'd asked him why he wasn't happy he'd told her that his fiancée had made it clear she was only marrying him to meet her family obligations. Nanao had been shocked by that. Shunsui could be annoying but he was also so warm and loving beneath it. Sometimes, he reminded her of a giant teddy bear. Who would be so cruel to him?

Not long after his marriage, Shunsui was sent to the Academy. Nanao knew he didn't want to go, that he considered it his families' way of getting rid of him. And she knew he was right. He was the third son of the family and they considered him a disgrace, with his love of sake and complete disinterest in his 'wife'. After he went, though, the letters started to arrive.

Nanao knew she really shouldn't keep them. It was almost indecent, keeping letters from a married man. She should burn them and tell him to stop writing. But somehow, she just couldn't. She could hear his voice in the letters and knew that writing them really meant something to him. Many of the letters were cheerful and upbeat but many of them really, really weren't. Still, she read and kept every one.

Dear Nanao-chan,

I received my lashes today. My drill instructor told me that if I don't start shaping up, I'll most definitely die with a sword in my belly. I replied, so is that a good thing or not? I think they're getting a bit tired of me. Now I'm on punishment detail for a week, lifting rocks and putting them in place with a raw back. Ah, bliss. Still, I think it was worth it. At least no one will ever forget me…

Nanao smiled as she read that, remembering his earlier letter about the prank he intended to pull. She'd written back telling him not to do it but he'd ignored her as always. At least he was cheerful about his punishment. The next letter though…

Dear Nanao-chan,

Well, I've graduated and received my assignment. Sulgio Outpost in the far, far North. It looks like my instructors are trying to make sure their wishes for me become reality. The only positive is that I'm going to be the commander. Wait, is that really a positive?

You wouldn't know, my lovely Nanao-chan, but the Northern border is a war zone. Constant skirmishes with bandits and nomads and things that cannot be named. That last part is thanks to the Thellasie river. It's infused with dark magic, running from the Surging Forest. A dark place but fortunately not our problem. The river is and it taints the land, leaving a residue of dark magic. People still live here because where else can they go? And it's our duty to protect them.

They usually send the scum and troublemakers to the Northern border. I guess I'm in the second category, eh? Ah, wonderful. Now I wonder if I should have shut up and behaved like a good little boy. But that just wouldn't be me. At least if I die young my wife won't have to see me again, eh? Ah, enough of my self-pity. How did your sister's wedding go…?

The letters had gotten sparser after he went to the Northern border. It was about that time that Nanao began volunteering her time at a local hospice. They cared for wounded soldiers, brought back from the conflicts in the North and East. She didn't tell Shunsui, but his letters were part of what moved her to do it. And after she started she found she was good at it. She was very skillful with a needle and thread. Did it make much difference if she was stitching fabric or stitching flesh? Although that was usually done, by the time the men reached her.

Dear Nanao-chan,

It's so cold here. I can't begin to tell you… just this morning I tried to take a bath and got icicles in my hair! The men laughed at me and one of my lieutenants told me that I was an idiot to even try. We're a touch stinky up here…

I've found someone to keep me warm, though. His name is Juushiro. He's a minor noble of the Ukitake family. Never heard of them? Because they're all dead. They got on the wrong end of a clan war and he's the only survivor. He fled to the Guard to escape. They didn't assassinate him, by some miracle, but they did get him sent up here. Out of the way, eh?

I wonder if it horrifies you, that I'm with another man? But I care for him more than I ever cared for my 'wife'. He's so gentle, so kind. No one would go out of their way to anger him, though. He's deadly with a blade. Kami, I do love him…

As it happened, Nanao wasn't horrified by that. She knew what a loveless farce Shunsui's marriage was. He could only see his wife twice a year, anyway. Even if she'd been the sweetest woman in the world they would have been strangers, and she wasn't that. Shunsui visited only because he had to and left as soon as he could. The cold of the Northern border was preferable to the cold of his so-called home.

Dear Nanao-chan,

Ah, another load of scum to break in! I've already had to kick someone's ass. So much fun… his name was Grimmjow and he has the most amazing head of bright blue hair. Really. He lipped off to me and I asked if he happened to be part smurf. Then the fight started. Fortunately I won but I had to fight dirty to do it. The medics assure me that his testicles will eventually recover.

Anyway, with the usual display of dominance complete, I believe I might have a relatively good crop of cutthroats this time. I prefer the crazy ones over the sniveling weasels. I seem to have quite of few crazies this time, although there's one who's rather odd and silent. That kind worries me. They can be unpredictable, we'll have to see how he turns out…

The spring here is so beautiful Nanao-chan. All the flowers suddenly bloom, all at once. I put a few in Juushiro's hair while he wasn't watching. The men were snickering at him for hours before he figured it out. He was angry at me, of course, but he couldn't stay upset. I'm just too adorable. Don't you agree?

Nanao had smiled and written back that she most definitely didn't agree and his own testicles deserved to suffer, but the truth was, she agreed with him. He was just too sweet to stay angry at. They passed many cheerful letters until, almost three years later, she received something far more painful.

Dear Nanao-chan,

I lost Juushiro last week.

It took me this long to write anything… oh kami, it hurts so much. I never expected it, not like this. It all happened so suddenly.

Juushiro's lungs were never strong. He was sick as a boy, some kind of lung fever, but he never let it slow him down. This winter, though, was so hard on him. I should have insisted he stay at the base but I didn't. Why didn't I? But then, he always hated to be coddled. He would tell me to my face that he was as tough as anyone and if I didn't treat him as an equal, he wouldn't have me for a lover. So I… I did. Juushiro…

That damned Grimmjow – no. No, it wasn't his fault. The ice should have been thick enough. But it wasn't and he went through… Juushiro went after him, the fool! He was worth ten of that thick headed idiot. He had a rope hanging at his belt and the silent one caught it. What's his name again? I forget. But he's the only reason we got them out alive. Juushiro managed to get Grimmjow and the silent one pulled them both back out, or we wouldn't have found the corpses until spring.

But Juushiro caught a lung infection. I got him to bed right away and we did everything we could for him, all the soothing herbs and blankets and… and it wasn't enough. He just kept getting worse and worse. And then he was gone. Oh kami, how can I live without him?

I don't know Nanao. I just don't know.

She cried when she read that letter and wrote back her condolences immediately. She pressed some flowers, the moonflowers that were the symbol of the defunct Ukitake clan, and added them to the letter. It was some time before he wrote her again but then he sounded more like his usual self.

Dear Nanao-chan,

I'm getting divorced! I must say, that took long enough. My darling wife is having a child and there is simply no way I can possibly be the father. I must say, I'm really quite relieved. Now I won't have to leave the comforts of home to go see her any longer. And my older brother has quite a brood so my family probably won't marry me off again. Excellent!

Wait, did I call this horrible place home? Eww… next you know, I'll be fond of these cutthroats and lunatics. Or maybe I already am? Ah, it's too late for me. Nothing for it. I belong here.

Wish me luck Nanao-chan.

Nanao had smiled at that letter and sent him a small gift to celebrate his divorce. A box of chocolates, she was sure he would savor every bite. Shunsui loved chocolate covered marzipan and she doubted he saw much of it on the Northern border. And his return letter…

Dear Nanao-chan,

Thank you so much for the chocolates! They're even better than the divorce. I shared a few of them with my men. The silent one had such a funny look on his face. Grimmjow even asked him what was wrong and he just said 'sweet'. He's an odd character, that one. I was wrong about him. He's extremely predictable although he can be a discipline problem. Mainly because he's hard to pry out of bed, but Grimmjow and the others are always willing to drag him out. Once he gets moving, he's excellent. He's one of my best scouts.

I don't blame Grimmjow for what happened anymore. It wasn't his fault. I knew that immediately, it's just taken a while to get it through my stubborn heart. But if it hadn't been him it would have been someone else. Ah, Juushiro, I miss him so. I wish he could be here to try your chocolates.

I know he would have loved them.

For a long while, his letters were more cheerful. Accounts of skirmishes, some rather funny occurrences… most of those featured Grimmjow in some way… and another spring with more flowers. This time Shunsui tried to put them in Grimmjow's and silent's hair, but failed completely with Grimmjow. At first he'd thought he'd succeeded with the silent one but then he'd noticed the man had moved the flowers to better positions. Nanao would remember that later, when another letter arrived.

Dear Nanao-chan,

There's something I think I should tell you. I need to tell someone and who else is safe to talk to? It's about the silent one. I should have named him before, but I just didn't want to mention him to you. You see, his name is Coyote Starrk and he's been my lover for six months.

I feel disloyal to Juushiro even thinking about it. But I'm not in love with the man. He's just something to keep my bed warm, a body to satisfy my lusts on. That's what I thought, at least. Until today.

I picked Starrk for a few reasons… he's a handsome man, Nanao. He slumps all the time but when he doesn't, you can see what a fine, lean figure of a man he is. His hair is chestnut and his eyes are steel grey. He has a small beard and a shy little smile, the few times he pulls it out. Easy on the eyes and good in bed, that's Coyote Starrk.

I also picked him because he's a cutthroat piece of scum. At least, that was what I thought. I had his history from Grimmjow. Apparently, they both served a crime lord named Barragan. Although he was a front for someone else, someone they're both terrified of even now. Grimmjow ran some of their operations directly while Starrk was one of their very best assassins. It explains why he took to scouting so easily. The skills involved are quite similar. Anyway, the crime ring was eventually broken up and they were both given the choice of death or joining the Guard. They chose the Guard.

I can hear you now… why would I replace Juushiro with a man not fit to polish his boots? Oh, Nanao-chan… because I don't want to fall in love again. I can't take another loss. I thought I could just dismiss Starrk as a pretty body and use him like a toy. Until today.

It all happened with a letter. One of them brought it to my quarters and left it while I was out. I assumed it was from you. It never occurred to me it might be for Starrk. I opened it without thinking and was reading before I realized it was from a young girl. She called Starrk 'Wolf-chan' and asked when he would be coming home. Then scolded him for not writing better letters. It was the most adorable letter, Nanao. I never imagined he had family.

It had been sealed with wax. I thought about trying to reseal it but finally decided to just own up to my crime. Starrk was only a little surprised, just shrugging it away before he took his letter. He took so long reading it, I began to wonder what was wrong. Then he looked up with that little smile of his and asked me if I could help him write a better letter. It turns out he can hardly read, let alone write. So… I helped him. And I found out the letter was from his little sister. His face lit up and he actually spoke, when I asked about her. He confided in me that he'd joined Barragan and learned the assassin trade to buy an apprenticeship for her. He'd just managed to afford it when everything came crashing down. She's apprenticed to a milliner and he sends her every bit of money he can. All this time, I thought he was just cheap.

Is it horrible that I wish I didn't know all this? I wish he wasn't real to me. Just a handsome face and a warm body, not a man with a sister who loves him and waits for his letters. It hurts, Nanao.

I don't want to fall in love with him.

She hardly knew how to reply to that, but she did her best. She couldn't tell Shunsui everything would be fine, since obviously that would be a lie, but she told him that opening a heart always hurt and Juushiro would never judge him for going on. And she pointed out that all he'd mentioned was his feelings. How did Starrk feel about all this? Apparently, he took that message to heart because his next letter…

Dear Nanao-chan,

I had a long talk with Starrk today. I learned many things, most of which I didn't really want to know. But things are clearer, at least.

I started by telling him a bit about myself but he just smiled and said I didn't need to, he already knew. That confused me and, to be honest, left me feeling a bit insulted. He could see that and explained. Apparently, when he first joined us he thought I was attractive. That left me a bit stunned. That was almost six years ago!

Anyway, Starrk says he got Juushiro drunk and pumped him for information about me. It didn't take him long to figure out that Juu and I were together, so he abandoned his cause. After… Juushiro died, though, he kept trying to get closer to me. He says he knew I needed space but he wanted to be there for me. He wanted me to look towards him when I felt I was ready to go on.

Kami, it hurt to hear that. This man I thought I was just using really has feelings for me. I felt like a complete bastard. He saw that in my face and tried to tell me it was alright, he'd understood I wasn't ready for anything serious. Starrk looked so worried, so concerned for me. I hugged him and he hugged me and I think I cried a little. Ah, it's hard to admit that. I feel like a girl. Oh, don't hurt me Nanao-chan!

Joking aside, I think I might be falling for this man. I don't want to, but I think I am. I hope he doesn't die on me. Is it selfish that I hope I die first?

Wish me luck Nanao-chan.

For the next year, Shunsui's letters were sparse. But Nanao heard stories in the market of the war being fought in the North. The bandits were more organized and vicious than ever before and there were more wounded soldiers coming to the hospice. One of them told her that the bandits were ambushing couriers and trying to cut supplies, so some letters had likely been lost. She wasn't too surprised. Nanao only hoped that her own letters were getting though.

The letters that did get through were rather grim. She found out that Grimmjow had been badly injured in a battle, helping Starrk cover a retreat. The combination of the blue man's fire and Starrk's quiet deadliness had helped them to disengage without being overrun. Shunsui had put them both in for a commendation although he expected nothing to come of it.

Then there were stories in the market of a great battle and victory in the North. Nanao was happy to hear it but worried for Shunsui. What had happened and how many lives had been lost? How was he doing? She was right to worry. His next letter arrived with the valiant and tragic details.

Dear Nanao-chan,

You'll probably hear about our victory before I send you this letter. Kami, to win so much at such a dreadful cost. Starrk's dead. I sent him out to die…

It was his idea. Five different bandit camps had united and were getting quietly supplied by our 'friendly neighbors' in Allustra. Kind of them. I know why, too. If they could get us locked up fighting with 'bandits' far within our borders, they could finally nip off the Serrasen peninsula. They've been wanting to get that for over a hundred years.

Now, bandits are usually running on a logistical shoestring, but not this time. With the extra support they were able to amass a fighting force bigger than mine. Not as well trained… I'll give my cutthroats this much, they are efficient killers… but large. So one night, Starrk made a suggestion. It was after we had sex… he gently reminded me that he was an assassin and pointed out that most bandit camps were essentially cults of personality. One strong man to pull them together. And with five different bands uniting, things had to be very delicate. If we could identify the one in charge and eliminate him it was quite likely the whole thing would fall apart.

Of course, I told him he was crazy. How could he expect to pull that off? He just looked at me with those calm grey eyes and told me he was relatively sure he could get in and kill the man. Escaping afterwards was the part he wasn't sure about. I held him so tightly then and told him I wouldn't allow it. He rested a hand on my shoulder and told me that I had to think of the higher purpose. I asked him what in hell an assassin would know about higher purpose… he smiled, that sweet little smile of his and told me he'd always had a higher purpose. First it was his sister, but she doesn't need him anymore and he'll never be allowed to see her again. Which is true, they don't let men like him go visit their families… he said now, his purpose is the people we protect. And he pointed out to me that if the bandits got past us they would have a clear shot all the way down to Mount Legras. Looting and burning all the way. They might even reach you, Nanao-chan…

I told him we would have to see. Wait for the tactical situation to become clearer. He nodded and let it drop but we both knew he'd won. We both knew I'd send him. And I did… and he did it, Nanao-chan. He killed the bastard and when the camp descended into chaos we made our move. It was a great battle, Nanao. A hard, bitter fight but we smashed them in the end. They're utterly ruined now. The danger to the Kingdom is ended.

We found Starrk's body in the aftermath. I won't give you the details but it wasn't a clean death. The only mercy is that we moved too quickly for them to linger on him… oh Starrk. I wish I could have taken your pain for you. I've put him in for the highest commendation I can. Hopefully, someone will finally listen. We might lose Grimmjow too. He took a bad wound to the chest and it's showing signs of infection.

Oh Nanao-chan, why does it seem like everyone dies except me?

She replied to him, of course. Although it was hard to know what to say to a letter like that… one thing she definitely assured him of was that he was still there for a reason. All the men looked to him and loved him, if he died they would completely lose heart. Somehow, she was sure that was true. Shunsui's band of cutthroats seemed to care deeply for him, from the things he had said.

Not long later, she received another letter.

Dear Nanao-chan,

I can't believe it. A commendation finally came through! Starrk is being given the highest honor possible, the Cross of Valor. It comes with a five gold benefit and that's being sent to his little sister. I wrote her a letter to go with it, telling her how remarkable her brother was. Ah kami, it hurts but at least he's being acknowledged.

We all are. I think it's the first time this has ever happened up here… I'm getting a commendation too, and the whole unit is getting a bonus. It's only going to amount to three silver each, when it's portioned out, but the men are abuzz. They don't get paid much so it seems like a lot of money. I swear, most of them have already spent it in their heads. Grimmjow certainly has. He actually managed to beat the infection. I swear, he's indestructible. Almost as bad as me, eh?

Speaking of me, I've put in quite a different request for myself. I want an honorable discharge and my retirement benefits. My men will be sad to see me go but I'm just too tired. I can't go on forever. I hope it gets approved. I can just see the bastards using the war clauses to extend my commission, whether I want it or not. I'm a bit too good at my job. Ah, what will I do if they do let me go? I have quite a lot of money saved up. I think I might go home to my clan for a while. They seem to be fonder of me now. I guess being a hero does that, eh? Then I think I might try to invest my money in something. What though? Do you have any ideas Nanao-chan?

Ah, I wish Starrk and Juushiro could both be here to see this.

Nanao did have plenty of suggestions for things he could invest in. She wrote him a long letter, detailing all the different markets she knew and the possible openings. Her family associated with all kinds of other merchant families and had interests in more than just clothing, so she had a great deal to work with. No reply came though. Or rather, not in letter form.

She was bringing food to the injured and recovering men at the hospice when she heard a laugh. It made her heart tighten a bit because it was so familiar. Setting that thought aside, she continued delivering the meals. It couldn't possibly be him.

She was beyond shocked when she stood in the doorway to one room and saw who was inside, resting comfortably in the bed.

"…Shunsui…?" She breathed his name, seeing the difference all the years had made. He was missing an eye. When had that happened? It was covered with a patch and there was a wicked scar starting just above that missing orb and leading down his cheek. And he looked so much older, so worn by what he'd seen and endured. He turned his head to see her and his remaining eye widened.

"Nanao-chan…?" He sounded disbelieving. She held back a small sob, managing to give him a smile. "Nanao, is that you?" His eyes ranged up and down her and she suddenly felt oddly self-conscious. He'd left when she was still only a girl. The years had changed her.

"Yes. Oh Shunsui, what are you doing here? Are you hurt?" She asked as she settled the tray of food in for him. He looked at it in bemusement before looking at her, a smile playing over his lips.

"Oh, just a bit. But I got my retirement!" He said lightly as she gave him a severe look. Then he twitched the blanket away and she winced at what was revealed. His left leg was missing just below the knee. The amputation scar was still shiny and red.

"What happened?" She asked, sure it had to be something brave and heroic. Although why did he look so embarrassed? And was he blushing?

"…A gopher hole." Shunsui said and she stared at him. A… what? "My horse stepped in a gopher hole and took me down with it. My leg was badly broken and, well…"

"A gopher hole?" She couldn't help it. She had to laugh. Shunsui looked a touch pained but also amused as her laughter rang out.

"Ah, everyone mocks me! You should have heard the men. Grimmjow has a laugh like a hyena… but at least they can't deny me my retirement anymore." Shunsui sounded so cheerful and Nanao smiled, taking his hand. "Ah, you shouldn't do that. What would your husband say?"

"Husband?" She blinked at him, confused. "I'm not married." She'd never found a man she wanted, although her family had been trying to get her to settle down for years. Shunsui blinked at her, a startled expression crossing his face.

"Really?" He asked and she nodded, surprised. She hadn't told him she was married in any of her letters. Why would he think so? "I… thought perhaps you were sparing my feelings." He admitted and she frowned, slightly insulted.

"Why would I do that?" She asked as he struggled to find an answer. "It doesn't matter… did you get my letter about where to invest your money?" She asked and he shook his head. "I have all kinds of ideas! If you want I can go over them with you." Nanao offered, feeling very enthusiastic. She really did have some good ideas… Shunsui smiled at her and it was oddly bittersweet.

"I think I would rather invest some time, Nanao-chan." He murmured before squeezing her hand. She stared at him, not understanding. "If you would consent to be courted by a battered old warrior like me." Her breath caught in her throat. So that was what he had meant about sparing his feelings. She felt… almost floating at the thought. She'd cared for him before he'd gone to war and the letters they'd exchanged had only deepened that feeling.

"What about your family?" She asked, remembering. That was why they'd been kept apart to start with. The Ise clan was not a good match for someone of his stature. Shunsui just smiled, amused.

"I'm not a boy they can push around anymore, Nanao-chan. I have my own life and my own money." He said lightly and she nodded. He definitely had a point. "Even my own influence, in certain circles. I'll marry for love now or not at all." He sounded so decisive. Nanao could only smile.

"I'll make time for you, Shunsui." She would be glad to invest that in the man she'd cared for, for so long.

She had been waiting for him for years.


End file.
